Dear Mrs. Bankos,

[a letter to brad bankos's mom.]

Dear Mrs. Bankos,
I’ll begin by introducing myself – My name is Anna Marie Smith, and I am a sophomore theatre major from Tennessee who is currently on the classics study abroad trip. In recent months, I have become fast friends with your son Brad. Our common interests include, but are not limited to, dogs (similar to Gina), excellent cuisine, and exploring new cities. After a long day of analyzing rocks, we tend to venture out in the late afternoons to find food and fun. On one specific occasion, four days ago to be exact, we parked in a city called Kalambaka, Greece, and decided to mosey out into the town to look for tomatoes and olive oil for a picnic/dinner. Our endeavor led us straight to a Champion Grocery Store’s grand opening – composed of a plethora of Greeks shopping at their new venue for grocery supplies in this outstanding two-story edifice. Not only did this place appear to be a mad-house of our dreams, it also was fully stocked on all aisles with a vast selection of everything that a grocery store could possibly hold, including but not limited to, frappe makers, an optimal selection of peanut butters [unheard of in these areas], and last but certainly not least – hair dyes. It was at this moment, exactly when the hair dye was spotted, that Brad was sold:

Brad [eagerly]: Ohhhhhh…[pause and looking intently]….BLONDE. I’m doin’ it.
Me [unconvinced]: Brad… blonde?
Brad [wanting advice]: Should I do it?
Me: I dunno. Maybe you should go black.
Brad [getting excited]: I really want to go blonde. Let’s do it.
Me [hesitantly]: Well… ok.

Though I had no experience with hair dye, even on my own hair, I figured it couldn’t be that hard. My biggest concern was in the color that blonde dye would turn Brad’s brown hair. Though I wasn’t in full support, I was in as long as I could do the dying. I figured it couldn’t turn out too bad.

We returned back to the hotel room where we thought we could be stealthy and tell no one. It would be a big surprise. We opened the Greek box of hair dye to find three bottles of solutions and directions, each of which were labeled in both Greek and Spanish. Since neither of us know either of those languages, we tried to decipher via pictures… even though there were approximately five total on the page. After 15 minutes of trying to crack the code of languages/pictures, we just decided to mix the bottles that seemed logical and go for it.

Long story short -- Brad’s hair turned orange. I mean, awful orange. Near the color of a lemon-apricot mix. We logically gave it a few days to digest, but there was no change in its appeal. I continually told Brad that I was ready for black when he was. And once we were settled in Italy (after a ferry and a day of four different train rides), he disclosed a box of jet-black hair dye he had dashed to the nearest grocery store to buy.

It was time. Black hair dye might be a challenge – seeing that black hair dye stains skin as much as it does hair – but nothing could stop us from ridding that orange color. I was ultimately careful in my placement of the dye, but as I said earlier, I had never done this before. The solution appeared clear in the bottle, until it settled on Brad’s scalp for a few seconds – turning crazy dark. And my hands are kinda small, so the gloves had a li’l too much wiggle room. Regardless of my excuses, I outlined his forehead nicely, with only a few smudges outside the normal hair area – nothing of notice. Covered the entire head with the dye. It was at the sideburns that I knew I had maybe gone too far. As he was saying, “Be sure you get all the blonde hairs!” I outlined his sideburns in solution… and soon realized it was permanent. When it looked even, we sat for half an hour, watched ‘V for Vendetta’, and rinsed. During that period, Brad transformed into Elvis. Not only was all of his orange hair jet black, but also his sideburns looked as if I had painted them on. Perfect black rectangles.

At the present, you will be glad to know Brad is fitting in with Italians like it’s his job. The black hair was a major upgrade from artificial orange. And Brad looks just like a mix between Gaston from ‘Beauty and the Beast’, John Travolta in ‘Grease’, and Johnny Cash, thanks to the painted sideburns. Italy to the max - you should be proud.

Hope everything is swell in Jersey and tell Gina hi for me!
Best,
Anna Marie